The unity candle is a common element added to many wedding ceremonies. It involves three separate candles, the middle one being the 'unity candle'.  Typically, the candles are placed at the front on a table or altar.  The two side candles are lit before the beginning of the ceremony by representatives of each family (often the mothers of the bride and groom).  After the declaration and signing of the licence the bride and groom each take one of the side candles and together light the middle unity candle.  This symbolizes their separate lives and families now being joined together.
​
A Unity Candle Ceremony can easily be added to any marriage ceremony. It is placed near the end of the ceremony, following the Exchange of Rings. However, the mother's usually lights the two outer candles as they are escorted forward at the beginning of the ceremony. If there are breezes present, they may want to light the taper candles just prior to the Unity Candle Ceremony. 
​
A Unity Candle set consists of two slender candles (called tapers) and a large center candle. They are usually white candles.
The Unity Candle Ceremony is a popular choice for both religious and non-religious ceremonies because it is non-denominational and has no religious significance.
​
The two outer candles represent your individual lives before today. They represent all that you are from your vast experiences, and they represent your individual families. As you each take a single candle and light the center candle, you will extinguish your individual candles. 
Often the Bride will blow out the Groom's taper candle and the Groom will blow out the Brides taper candle. This represents the closing of the chapters in your individual Books of Life and the beginning of new chapters as you begin to write a new book of Life as wife and husband!
​
Another way to do this is to allow the two taper candles to continue to burn. By allowing the flame of the two taper candles to remain lit, it represents that the Bride and Groom accept the individuality of each other as a means to fulfilling their commitment to one another. 
​
Some couples choose to have soft music playing during the Unity Candle Ceremony. 
​
If you are creating a new family you may want to include the children in the lighting of the Unity Candle. Often this is done by having the bride and groom light the candle for the children and then everyone lighting the center candle together. This is an excellent way to involve children from a previous marriage.
​
Tip:  Make sure that there aren't any decorative beads, ribbon or lace around the candles - they can easily catch fire. Consider pre-lighting the taper candles and the Unity candle to make them easier to light in outdoor ceremonies. If your ceremony is outdoors, always have several extra lighters nearby in case the wind decides to blow the candles out. Putting the Unity Candle inside a glass hurricane lamp can sometimes help if the ceremony is outside.
​
​Sample Ceremonies:
​
1.  The Unity Candle ceremony is a beautiful symbolic representation of your joining in marriage. Please take the two taper candles, representing your individual selves and light the center candle representing your marriage. Notice that the flames burns brightest when both candles are participating, cooperating and present. A marriage is like that. Be forever present for one another, shining light and beauty.
​
2.  This candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage. Its fire is magical because it represents the light of two people in love. This candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it aflame. This candle is also a candle of Unity because both must come together, giving a spark of themselves, to create the new light. As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness, warmth and safety in the cold, and strength and joy in your bodies, minds, and spirits. May your union be forever blessed.
​
3.  Please take the two taper candles, and light the center candle representing your marriage. 

As the candle of your marriage burns brightly, remember that the two tapers of yourselves are not diminished. You do not disappear in marriage. You remain you. But in joining, both lights are brighter, each supports the other and miracles can happen. 
​
4.  Light is the essence of our existence. Each one of us possesses an inner glow that represents our hopes, our dreams and aspirations in life. 

The lighting of the center candle represents not only the union of Bride___________ and Groom_____________ in marriage, but the unity formed in this new family in which your lives will now shine as one family. Bride____________, Groom_____________, Child____________, Child___________.

Each candles flame represents your lives before this day, individual, unique and special. Please take the candle symbolizing your life before today, and together light the center candle to symbolize the union of your individual lives. Each flame will help to make the family even brighter and stronger.

As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness, warmth and safety in the cold, and strength and joy in your bodies, minds, and spirits. May your union be forever blessed.
​
​
5. Please take the two taper candles, representing your individual selves and light the center candle representing your marriage.(together bride and groom take their tapered candles and light the center unity/marriage candle) As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness, warmth and safety in the cold, and strength and joy in your bodies, minds and spirits. May your union be forever blessed.
​
6.  From this day onward, may you bask in the beauty of the light of your love, may its light shine bright and steady upon your path together and may its heat keep you warm through all the days of your lives and beyond.
​
7.  Through the love and illumination of God, your paths have come together, and in this symbolic ceremony, you will each take a lighted candle, representing your previous separate pathways, and together you will light the Unity candle, symbolizing your willingness to walk life's pathways together as one. You may now proceed in the lighting of the candle.
​
8.  Today bride and groom come here from two different families. Out of these two families, a new family will be created in the Lord. At this time, I would invite the parents of ________and__________ to come forward and light the individual candles which represent the two separate families. The two individual flames, one representing each family, will demonstrate to us in a very beautiful way the symbol of two who become one. From now on they will grow together as unique persons becoming a light to the world.
​
Children and Your Unity Candle Ceremony
If you're tying the knot for the second time around, especially if your children are involved, there are several unique ways to still celebrate the beauty of the Unity Candle Ceremony.  Include your children in the meaningful lighting of the Unity Candle. The eternal symbol of two flames becoming one not only means two hearts becoming one, but an entire family uniting as one force. Here are some ideas for you and your children's' Unity Candle Ceremony.
​
Have Your Kids Light the Candles
During the processional, or just right before the ceremony, have both of your children light the individual tapers - mom's kids light mom's candle, and the same for dad. If only one of you have children, you might consider having the child light the parent's candle while the other's mother lights their individual candle. This is a great way to include your children in the ceremony, as well as make them feel a part of their new family.
​
Have Your Kids Join You In Lighting the Unity Candle
If you have your parents light your individual tapers before the ceremony begins, or perhaps if you, the bride and groom, light them yourselves, also have your kids light an individual taper for themselves as well. When it's time to light the the Unity Candle, each member of your new family takes their own taper candle and contributes to the single flame. This is a beautiful, emotional way to bring your family together in a ceremonial bond.
​
Create Your Own Unique Ceremony
Reverend Ann Palmer of Palm Springs, CA, describes an unusual rendition of the Unity Candle Ceremony: "I would like to tell you about one surprising Unity Candle service I did. The bride had 2 daughters and the Groom had 2 sons. They wanted to have the children feel a part of their union. I suggested that we include them in the Unity Candle service. After we had gone through most of the candle service including their individual vows to each other they had written, they lit the Unity candle. After that, I had the Groom light the Bride's daughters' candles and the Bride light the Groom's sons candles. In unison they read a statement to the children, then all six joined their individual candles to the one Unity candle. Of course we hadn't practiced and we were all surpassed to see the flame flare up. The audience all swooned "ahhhh" - it was a surprising moment but beautiful. That was the most unusual Unity Candle service I have done to date."
​
More Second Wedding Unity Candle Ideas
Make your children feel they're already a part of a new family. Choose a Unity Candle specially printed with your names, your wedding date, and also your children's names right on the candle.
​
Give your children a symbol of your new family that they can always keep. New Beginnings Medallions come with a special poem for little ones, and the silver medallion can be engraved on the back.
​
Make your daughters feel extra special as they enter a new family. A necklace with a new beginnings charm, accompanied by a sweet poem, is something she can wear as a reminder of the beautiful wedding.
​
Tips:
​
Not recommended for outdoor ceremonies. 
​
Before the ceremony begins, place the unity candle on a small table near the altar or front of the venue. If you have an on-site coordinator who may have specific instructions, be sure to check in advance. To prepare for the ceremony, it is a good idea to light the wicks for a moment. (We know you won't be nervous or anything...but just in case, your candles will light much more easily.) Make sure there are lighters or matches beside the candles.  Also make sure there is nothing near the candles that could start a fire.
​
There are several popular options for lighting your taper candles. You can have your parents, your mothers, special friends come forward to light the side tapers as a symbol of your two families coming together as one.  
​
When it comes to your unity candle ceremony, you need to decide if you want to extinguish the flames on the taper candle. While some folks feel that you should extinguish the candles to symbolize your commitment to one another and becoming one, others argue you shouldn't to emphasize your individuality within your union, you leave the tapers lit. Whether or not you extinguish the taper candles is a personal decision and, like many aspects of your wedding planning, is entirely up to uniquely you!
​
If you choose to extinguish your tapers, try this reading:

As ___________and ____________together light the center candle, they will extinguish their own candles, thus letting the center candle symbolize the union of their lives. As this one light cannot be divided, neither will their lives be divided.

​

If you'd prefer to leave your tapers lit, try this one...

___________and ___________ come into their marriage relationship as individuals and they do not lose their identity, rather they use their individuality to create and strengthen the relationship of marriage. Therefore, the three candles remain lighted, one for each of them and one for their marriage, as symbols of their commitment to each other and to a lasting and loving marriage.